|
3 Questions That Will Get More Prospects To "Listen" To
What You Have To "Say"
By:
Ernest Nicastro
One of
the most successful and profitable advertisements in history
was a print ad for the Sherwin Cody School of English.
Written in 1918, the ad ran for over 40 years, generating
millions of inquiries, and millions in sales. Penned by the
legendary adman and copywriter Maxwell Sackheim, its
captivating headline reads:
“Do
You Make These Mistakes in English?”
Asking a
question is also a highly effective way to open your sales
letter. The key is to make it a good question. And a
good question is one that is both attention-grabbing and
involving. Take the above example, for instance. What if Mr.
Sackheim had simply omitted a single word and instead created
a headline that read: “Do You Make Mistakes in English?”
His
headline would still have attracted attention. But chances
are, after reading it, the vast majority of people would have
routinely replied, “Sure, who doesn’t?” and turned the page.
The word “these” involves us and draws us into the ad because
it promises a payoff. Plus, it gives the headline a sharp,
provocative edge that compels the reader to dig into the body
copy of the ad. (How many of us, even today, could resist the
urge to find out if we did, indeed, “Make These
Mistakes in English?”)
Because
questions can be such powerful openers, I want to share 3
question-crafting formulas that are easily adaptable to many
different types of businesses.
-
Did you know…?
Before you go to work on this opening put yourself in the
mindset that you’ve just found out a surprising and
important piece of information. After finding out this
important information you immediately pick up the phone and
call your friend and colleague. You open the conversation,
“Hey Joe, did you know . . .?
Key point: Whatever follows “Did you know . . .?” has to be
grounded in FACT and has to have some “kick” to it. Here’s
an example from my own files from a letter I wrote for a
company that sells hiring and assessment software:
Did you know that one mis-hire could cost your company
over $500,000 in sales? Sounds incredible doesn’t it? But
consider this:
-
Has this ever happened to you?
After you’ve penned this opening your next move is to
summarize key details of a common “screw-up” that occurs in
your industry. (Preferably from a true story your client
told you from when he was still dealing with those awful
people at “Brand X.”) Then, you present the payoff -- which
is the fact that your company’s equipment, technology,
quality control procedures, training programs, etc. are
such that this type of thing rarely, if ever, happens.
-
Can you say, with absolute confidence…?
What we are trying to do with this opening is to get the
reader to pause and consider if, with regard to -- fill in
your product or service -- she has absolute confidence that
everything is “as good as it gets.” Here’s an example of
this type of opening -- again, from my own files:
Can
you…?
Can you
say, with absolute confidence, that you and your project
managers always have quick and easy access to current
job-cost information?
If
you…?
If you
and the project manager on your most important job each
produced a Contract Status Report -- right now --
would both sets of numbers agree?
As with
“Did you know…? ” whatever follows “Can you…?” has to be
relevant and meaningful to the reader.
Your
opening words are the most important words in your entire
sales letter. And forming a question with those words is a
time-proven, highly effective technique for seeing to it that
those words will get read. But make sure it’s a good
question. One that is attention-grabbing, involving,
prospect-relevant and provocative.
Now let’s
look at how the following letter could have been stronger by
using an effective question or two.
Key: Black = original text Red = Ernest's comments Blue = Ernest's Suggested Text
To preserve privacy all names have been changed.
Mr.
Marvin Dailey
Red Rock
Brewing
12873
Evergreen Ave.
Chicago,
IL 60618-5509
Dear
Marvin,
When your
pallet loads do not hold together and valuable shipments are
ruined, it’s your phone that rings.
This letter starts off by talking
personally and directly to the prospect. A good technique.
Your ear that is blistered by an angry customer.
Good sentence. “Blistered” is a
snappy, visual word. That makes finding a solution to
customer damage complaints more important to you than perhaps
anyone else in your company.
All in all, not a bad opening. The writer presents a problem
and quickly indicates that he has a solution for that
problem. But how might we have used a question to make this
opening more involving and more of a grabber? Here’s an idea:
You hate it don’t you? You hate it when the phone rings and
it’s an irate customer…who gives you “holy h***” because of
the damaged merchandise on her order. That’s why you’re
going to love this letter. Because I’m going to tell you
how, once and for all, you can put an end to those
complaints.
Summary:
Our new opening is both attention-grabbing and provocative.
Mainly because “hate” is such a strong word, it all but
guarantees that our prospect will read the second line.
That’s
why you should know about WRAPn’LOAD, a
Use the article “the” to make what
follows sound more prominent and prestigious. NEW
inside out unitizing system that can eliminate your shipping
damage and complaints. WRAPn’LOAD is a synergistic
partnership of stretch wrap and LOADn’HOLD.
I would define LOADn’HOLD, even if
the reader already knows what it is. Suggestion:…of
stretch wrap and LOADn’HOLD -- the shipping industry’s Number
1 spray-on unitizing agent.
Both are proven unitizing sytsems on their own,
although together they are even better!
Despite the exclamation point this
sentence has little “sizzle” to it. Suggested rewrite:
Stretch wrap and LOADn’HOLD
are both proven, stand-alone unitizing systems. But when you
put the two of them together you’ll get a “killer
combination.” One that virtually guarantees your customers
100% safe shipping 100% of the time! (And you know what that
means don’t you? No more nasty phone calls to deal with.)
Best of
all, Good transitional phrasing that
smoothly leads us into the paragraph LOADn’HOLD works
in combination with your existing stretch wrapping
equipment. Simply add an in-line automatic applicator to
apply LOADn’HOLD. Just wrap as usual, and the integrity of
your pallet is TRIPLED.
According to whom? According to
what? With facts,
testimonials or studies to back up this statement it becomes
a powerful selling proposition. As written, it’s simply a
claim. Before the next sentence I would add the transitional
phrase, What’s more.
There is no capital investment!
This is a key point and the writer
should sell it even harder. Suggested copy to follow:
This means that your company
can (a) save money and (b) have happier customers -- at
absolutely no cost to you. Wow! Major packagers like
Proctor & Gamble, Lever Brothers and Cargill have
benefited from this system. With my
suggested rewrite of the preceding sentence I would rewrite
this line as follows: That’s
why major packagers such as Proctor & Gamble, Lever
Brothers and Cargill have already installed -- and
are already benefiting from -- the WRAPn’LOAD system.
You too can start saving money and
improving your customer relations today.
Simply
complete the short form below and fax back this entire
letter. We offer a 30 day trial with a money back
guarantee. Excellent,
a no-risk offer. A very smart move. CALL US TODAY at
1-800-260-5972.
Sincerely,
Conrad
Larsen
President
P.S.
Respond by the above date and receive a FREE Mag-lite
Flashlight. Another good move.
Except that instead of referring the reader to the top of the
letter where the offer is made I would give the specific
“respond-by” date in the text of the P.S.
© 2006 Ernest Nicastro About the author
Ernest Nicastro, a direct marketing consultant, copywriter and lead-generation specialist, heads up Positive Response, an award-winning marketing firm specializing in B-to-B marketing and lead-generation. For your FREE copy of the Positive Response Special Report, 77 Sure-Fire Marketing Tips Guaranteed To Boost Results, email Ernest (subject line Tips) at ENicastro@positiveresponse.com. Or, contact him by phone at 614.747.2256. For more information visit www.positiveresponse.com. You may reprint this article online
and in print -- with or without the critique component -- provided the links remain live and the content remains unaltered (including the "About the author" message).
If you would like a version of the article with a
"non-colorized" critique component please contact the author.
|
